You know what's weird?

I spent years as a therapist helping parents figure out how to raise independent kids. The kind who can think for themselves. Make decisions. Not call home every time something goes sideways.

And then I got into the online business world and watched gurus do the exact opposite with their customers.

They create dependency on purpose.

Think about it. You join someone's program and suddenly you need their community to make any decision. Their weekly calls to know what to do next. Their approval before you act. Their next course to keep going.

It's like helicopter parenting for entrepreneurs.

And just like with kids, it backfires eventually.

My son is twelve now. When he was younger, I could've done everything for him. Tied his shoes. Made all his decisions. Keeping him dependent on me for every little thing.

Some parents do that. They think they're helping.

But you know what happens to those kids? They get to college and fall apart. Or worse, they stay home well into their twenties because they never learned to trust themselves.

Same thing happens with customers in this space.

You make them dependent on you; they stick around for a while. Until they don't. Until they realize they're not actually getting anywhere. They're just staying busy inside your ecosystem.

Then they leave. Bitter. Jaded. Another person who "tried online business and it didn't work."

I've been that person. More times than I want to admit.

I'd join some program, get all excited, do exactly what the guru said. And it would feel like progress because I was busy. Active. Part of something.

But I wasn't building my own thing. I was building theirs. And that doesn’t work

Here's what I do differently.

Whether someone grabs my report on what went wrong with their last attempt, works through a plan with me, or we're going back and forth with my email coaching, the whole point is the same. Get them independent. Help them think through their own business. Make their own decisions. Trust their own judgment.

Yeah, I'm there to spot patterns they're missing. Point out traps they're about to step in. Ask questions that make them think differently.

But I'm not trying to create a situation where they need me forever.

My kids don't need me to tie their shoes anymore. I'm teaching my clients the same thing I taught my kids. How to figure stuff out themselves. What email to send. Which product to create. How to think through it without needing me there.

The therapist in me knows something most marketers don't want to admit.

Real transformation happens when people develop their own capabilities. Not when they become better at following your system.

And the business guy in me knows something else.

The clients who become independent? They're the ones who succeed. They're the ones who send referrals. Who say nice things about you. Who might come back later when they're at a different level and want strategic input.

The ones you kept dependent? They either never launch anything, or they blame you when it doesn't work.

I see this play out in the make-money-online space constantly. Someone builds a big following by making their system seem complex enough that you'll need them forever. Lots of moving parts. Proprietary terminology. Special tools only they have access to.

And their customers stay stuck because the whole setup was designed to create dependency instead of capability.

When I work with someone, that burned-out entrepreneur who's tried everything and just wants someone to be straight with him, I'm not trying to recruit him into my ecosystem. I'm trying to help him build his own.

That means sometimes I tell him things that aren't in my financial interest. Like maybe he doesn't need that fancy funnel. Or that automation he's been obsessing over can wait until he's actually making sales.

It means I'm okay with him finishing our work together and not needing me anymore.

Same principle whether you're raising independent kids or building independent customers.

They don't need you forever. But they trust you forever.

And in this space where everyone's been burned by someone selling dependency disguised as mentorship?

That trust is worth more than another monthly subscription you convinced someone they couldn't live without.

Just something I've been thinking about lately. Watching my kid figure stuff out on his own. Watching my clients do the same thing with their businesses.

There's something satisfying about it that no amount of recurring revenue could match.

Until Next Time,

Kevin Hammer

Former Therapist | Business Coach
I help online entrepreneurs see why they're stuck and what actually works instead

Pyragonics.com

P.S. If you're sick of systems designed to keep you dependent, that's why I do things differently. Whether it's a personalized report, custom plan, or email coaching, the goal is getting you independent. Not keeping you subscribed forever. If that's what you actually need, email me at kevin@ pyragonics.com. Tell me where you're stuck and let's see what we can do together.

I put together a free guide that walks through the 13 traps that keep people spinning—the ones I paid to learn so you don't have to.

It's called The $50K Lesson, and it's the straight truth about what keeps online entrepreneurs stuck.

Grab it here: https://real.kevins.link/50klesson